Next

Okie, starting where I left off......

As I said, things started going downhill.  Rena and I were fighting a lot, especially because she cheated on me.  Adultery was never in the vows, to my knowledge.  The bills were really catching up to us, and she was starting to get restless.

At this point, our sex life came to a screeching halt.  I didn't want to make love to her anymore, simply for the fact that I didn't trust her.  I couldn't.  Every time that we'd start, I'd get this picture in my head of her and Chris together, and it made me want to kill her.  It didn't do much to put me in the mood.

Sometime later, say, maybe 3 months or so, I come home early from work one day.  It was REALLY early, about 2 1/2 hours, or so.  I walk in the door, and no, she's not having sex with someone else, but I find a group of suitcases piled by the door, and I hear noises coming from our room.  I walked in, and saw her packing some things into another one.  I couldn't believe my eyes....

I started to demand what was going on, and starting almost begging to know what I had done that was so wrong.  She started on that same ol' "It's just not working" bit.  I flew off.

See, in my mind, once you say the words, that's it.  You FIND a way.  If you can't work it out together, you get help.  But, under no circumstances, do you just walk out.

We fought for about an hour, and she left anyways.  I was lost.  All I can ever remember of the rest of that night is walking from the living room to the bedroom, pondering over how to get her back.  All I know is, I didn't sleep, I didn't eat, and that's about it.

Suffice to say I tried like hell to get her back, using everything I could from poetry to songs, to even suggesting counseling.  She wouldn't have any of it, and just kept saying that she needed some time to work things out.  She said that she'd be back in a few days.  The few days turned into a couple of weeks.  One night, I was out by myself at the bowling alley, when I saw her, dressed in a tight, one-piece plaid mini-dress that laced up in the front, bending over a pool table, much to the delight of the guy that she was apparently there with.

Remeber I said that I was completely at her whim?  Well, you ain't heard nothing yet....

I walked over, excused her, grabbed her arm, and pulled her to a table around the corner, and drilled her about what she was doing with this jerk.  She said it was nothing.  She was just out with a couple of friends (by the way, there was another girl and guy with them, like a double-date).  I almost broke into tears, and she kept telling me not to worry, and that she still loved me.  Get this, I believed her...

I couldn't believe what was happening to my life. I couldn't leave the apartment, and my new roommate, Shelly, was getting really tired of listening to my bitching.  After almost two weeks of agony, and hearing about more of Rena's escapades, I received a phone call at my cousin's house.  This was the day after Christmas.  It's a day that I'll never forget.

She started off by telling me that she wasn't coming home, ever.  She said that she'd fallen for another man named Craig.  She'd moved most of her things into his place already, and they'd been seeing each other for over a month.  I was devastated.  I couldn't speak, I couldn't beg, I couldn't do anything but just sit there like a mute.  She said she still cared about me, and that she'd talk to me when she came to get the rest of her things.  She hung up, and that was that.  We were getting divorced.

Since that moment, everything in my life has changed.  My entire viewpoint on relationships, love, and happiness.  I don't think it's something I'll ever recover from.  I still don't feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed as another woman for the night.  Sex is fine, but I feel this desire to sleep alone.  Or maybe, it's that I don't want to sleep without her.  I never have figured that one out.

But, despite the odds, and the hardship, I moved on, and lived as best as I could.  That also brings my sorted story to an end.  I do, however, have a somewhat comical note to leave this on.  I saw Rena, almost a year later, pretty round in the stomach.  She said that she didn't know quite who's it was (at this, I couldn't help but snicker).  I also saw her again, six months after she delivered.  If you've seen the pics, try to picture her with about another 20 pounds or more, all in the hips, and a baggy sack hanging under her neck.

Life is not without its sense of justice.  After all that, I haven't seen her since.  And.........

As always,

Life is in the air.........