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I really want to know who ever made up all the crap about relationships, love, and 'happily ever after', and shoot him/her dead in the street.

Am I missing something here?  Are relationships in this day and age SUPPOSED to fail, or become worse, or boring?  Are people just too busy to understand what it's really supposed to feel like?

......okie, enough of my ranting, on to the reasons...

My folks are still doing pretty bad.  My dad was supposed to come home this weekend, which never happened.  Although, I think that this time, it was a blessing in disguise that he didn't.  He and my mom had a long talk about thing today, and I guess he's going to counseling on Monday.  He was planning on coming home this weekend and ending it.  His marriage, his life here, everything.  So, we still don't know where things stand.

Mike and his ex-wife are talking again.  They're supposed to go out to dinner tomorrow night for her birthday.  I just feel like he's walking right back into a pit of snakes.  The sad part is, he knows that it's there, what it is, and that it'll probably kill him if it bites again.  All I can say is, he's too damn goodhearted for his own good.

And lastly, I'm still single.  The fact that I hate the most is that I'm getting used to it.  Ugh, I never thought I would say that!  I was thinking earlier tonight.  I used to be such an outgoing person, with a hunger for life that few around me could match.  I was always energetic, and had a smile on my face.  Over the last few months, there have been a lot of changes over myself, that I hadn't really noticed.

I was having a conversation with Annie tonight, when she said something about me being different.  I asked her how she would describe me now, and she said, 'almost dead, without any real personality.'  I got offended, and realized, the only reason I was, was because she was right.

I've let my life get me down, I think, to the point that I'm not sure what it was that I used to live FOR.  The worst thing is, I don't even know where to start.  I've never had to SEARCH for something to be important to me.  It was just always, there.  There's going to be a lot of soul searching going on in my brain for the next couple of days, so I'll try to keep everything updated as often as possible.  I start new job on Monday at Sherwood Medical (a medical supply manufacturing plant), working from 3pm until 11pm Mon-Fri.  I should be able to put up SOMEWHAT of an entry every couple of days or so.

Life just doesn't want to sit still around here.

As always,

Life is in the air.........