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I'm single, and have been since my ex and I split up a few months ago.  I've tried dating once since, to no avail.  I've been conversing with a woman in GA that I really get along with, and that seems pretty cool, but there's a lot of land to be traveled standing in the way of that.  I can't seem to find someone to get involved with that matches my new criteria.  I only wish to find someone that is honest, somewhat attractive (more attractive would be nice), and doesn't need to be institutionalized.  I keep getting the feeling that loneliness is in my destiny. 

My ex, however, doesn't seem to have any problems with leaving our relationship in the past, and that bothers me.  I can't seem to let go, and I've started to wonder whether I should, or whether I should keep hoping that it'll 'all work out in the end'.  I know I should probably let go, and move on with my life.  The relationship ended in a blaze of sex, lies, and dishonesty, 90% of it on her end.  We fought a lot up to that point, but to me, they were all things that could have been worked out.  I know I'm sounding like a love-struck teenager, but I can't seem to shake it, no matter what I try.

My New Year's resolution is this: I am giving up on any hopes of finding someone to fill that part of my life.  I just keep thinking, 'Why should I open myself up to that risk of being stomped on, and walked over?  Is it really worth it in the end?'  It's a problem that I need to confront, and make a final decision over, and soon.

I've also been considering enlistment in the Air Force recently.  It would be a great way of completing my education, and catching up my bills.  Only problem is, I would be doing it for all the wrong reasons.  I've never been one to run from a problem.  I like to grab it by the horns, wrestle it to the ground, and stomp the crap out of it.  That's just me.  I would be doing it to run, though.  That annoys me.  The very thought of running from something.  It would mean admitting that I have problems that I can't solve, or that escape me.  I don't do that very well.  I'll have to keep everyone posted on my decision in that area.

For now, life's all up in the air.